love

Sometimes when you get your heart broken like i did, you think that youll either die without him, never recover, or just stop beathing. life goes on. can iget an amen? i mean, i have other things to worry about. so many things are going on right now like, exams,peformances, pom practices, pom tryouts, and finding someone who won't break my heart. i think i found him! according to anciet greek, humans were made with 4 eyes, 4 legs, 4 arms, 2 noses, 2 mouths ect., and Zues was afraid of their power so he split them in half, leaving them to find the other half of themselves. these people were called soulmates! how cool is that!!! everyone has one.. and idk if i've found him b/c im only 14 (well, not officially, but in less than a month i will be!), but you can fall in love, and i know that becasue i have before. in my last relationship, i loved him so much. and i know it was real b/c its been almost a month now without him and im still getting over him, but it's a little easier to forget about him when your falling for someone else.. idk.

Grandpa....

I visited grandpa today and it was really. . .emotional. yeah, as soon as i saw him, i tried not to look at him too much because i knew i would cry. He's like, my best friend. if anything would ever happen to him, ohh my gosh i would cry so hard for so long. i love that guy. i love the way i cant touch my hands together when i hug him. i love the way he calls me names and just spontaneously breaks out in humming old tunes... i love the way he says "milk" and "cool". i love his little laugh and the way his eyes crinkle up when he smiles....
I remember when i was a little girl, i would sit on their kitchen table, and Grandpa would sit in a chair right in front of me. We would get put a pudding cup and eat a tapioca pudding together. :) haha...
From the moment i was born to right now, no one in my family has died. my great grandma is 99 years old... I'm so lucky to have that. but since I've never really dealt with a death before, i think it would make it harder for me to face it, if something were to happen.
so i think of the good things!!! i have everybody that i love alive!! whoop whoop! lol haha.... i want it to stay that way forever but i know it won't. oh well.. it's not "goodbye." it's "see you later."
Anyway, Grandpa if you are reading this i love you!!!! you mean so much to me, and i never really get to tell you that. so I'm just letting you know... :D...